


worst fears

by imposterhuman



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Arc Reactor, Comic Book Science, Gen, Hurt Tony Stark, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, OC villain - Freeform, Team Bonding, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, fake magic, fears, good team dynamics, handwavey science, ignore the logistical failures here, in a really shitty situation, kinda tropey honestly, like i completely made her up, she doesnt even have a name oops, they do their best, tony blows stuff up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-11
Updated: 2018-11-11
Packaged: 2019-08-21 21:33:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16584605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imposterhuman/pseuds/imposterhuman
Summary: the avengers are captured by a witch who makes them see their worst fearstony takes it on himself to save them





	worst fears

**Author's Note:**

> gah this is like,,, 5k words of angst and some sneaky winteriron that i didnt mean to add, it just kinda showed up
> 
> im exercising my creative license with this whole witch thing, so ignore the plot holes that she herself causes
> 
> this was supposed to be short, too
> 
> note: im not really sure why the spacing got weird halfway through, anyone know how to fix that? i copied it right over from google docs and it was fine there...

It was supposed to be just another routine battle with the tackily-costumed baddie of the week. And it started that way, yes, but somehow the villain got the upper hand over  _ all  _ of the assembled Avengers and a sidekick.

God, Tony  _ hated _ magic.

The fight had been normal enough, at first. Tony flew around kicking ass and ignoring orders, Steve did his disappointed voice as he hit things with his glorified frisbee, Hulk smashed, Clint shot at things and jumped off of high places (seriously, Tony was going to miss him one of these days and Clint would end up as an obnoxiously purple splatter on the sidewalk…), Natasha did her scary assassin thing, and their newest sidekick (though he’d kill Tony for saying so), Bucky, did  _ his  _ scary assassin thing. It was teamwork in action, until it wasn’t.

Tony could pinpoint exactly when the fight went wrong. It was when the villain, some sort of freaky witch type (a Harvester, SHIELD had told them. Tony thought it was almost grossly cliché- a witch that feeds on fear? Really?), blasted Cap’s shield off course, knocking it into Natasha. Natasha had been fighting with her Widow’s Bites in close quarters to Bucky, who got a (metal) arm full of electricity and went down like a rock. The assassins being knocked out distracted Steve, who the witch hit with an energy blast. She hit the Hulk with another blast, transforming him back into Bruce as he smashed towards the concrete in a crumpled heap. In the span of a blink, only two of the six Avengers were left fighting the formidable opponent. They lost all of their ground fighters, too, which, Tony realized, would make the fight a lot harder to win.

“Surrender, Avenger!” the witch called, using her powers to levitate the four unconscious Avengers. “Or I’ll kill these four before you can get a shot off.” She smirked, her expression promising something terrible no matter what they chose to do.

“Hawkeye, stay hidden,” Tony called over the coms. He was pretty sure the Harvester hadn’t seen Hawkeye, if the way her gaze stayed focused on him was any indication. That, and she said  _ Avenger, _ singular, and Tony, in his red and gold suit, was clearly visible. Unless she was completely blind, the witch definitely saw him.

Tony flew forward slowly, faceplate up, palms open in the universal sign of surrender (which, coincidentally, perfectly aimed his repulsors). “I surrender!” he called, trying to sound defeated. He didn’t turn to where Clint was perched. Tony was afraid that any look would communicate his plan to the witch, so he kept his eyes trained on her. Under her watchful gaze, he slowly lowered his hands. The witch dropped the other Avengers like a sack of potatoes to focus her attention wholly on Tony.

“Now, you-” she was cut off by an arrow to the chest. When Tony had put his hands down, he angled them behind himself to sign at Clint. Clint, thank god, had understood, and when he counted down with his fingers, had followed the plan perfectly. The arrow to the chest was followed with a repulsor blast. At close quarters, the witch stood no chance.

She didn’t look scared, though. She looked almost… satisfied. She was muttering under her breath, and with Clint’s final arrow, she spat out the last words of her spell, something about fear, Tony couldn’t hear her very well. An acid green glow encased each of the Avengers, and the witch let herself lose. She disappeared with a loud  _ crack! _ Tony had the feeling that they had just been tricked, badly. But that was a problem for another day.

“Wake up,” he said, kicking the Captain lightly in the side. “You missed me being awesome.” Steve cracked open an eye at that and smirked wryly.

Clint had since rappelled down from his perch and was rousing Natasha, who looking slightly mollified to have knocked out her own teammate. She was grousing lowly in Russian, something about  _ stupid metal arms _ , and Bucky, the owner of said stupid metal arm, was just glaring at her. Bruce woke up on his own as soon as the witch disappeared. and came to stand beside Tony, close, but not touching.

“Well,” Tony started. “That went terribly.”

“We won, didn’t we?” Clint grumbled.

“I think… I think she wanted us to? You all saw that green stuff, too, right? Did she curse us or something?” Tony was uncharacteristically unsure, as was his norm with magical shit.

“Stop being paranoid, Stark,” Clint replied. “It was probably a trick of the light.” But Clint didn’t sound sure either.

 

“Who says I’m paranoid? Did someone say something?” Tony joked.

“Whatever it was, we can discuss it at the debriefing,” Steve said, activating his  _ Captain America  _ voice (Tony hated that voice).

As a grumbling, limping group, they started the walk back to the quinjet.

Then, in a flash of green, they all disappeared.

***

“God, I hate kidnappings,” Tony said upon waking up. He wasn’t bound in any way, which was strange for a kidnapping (and foolish; anyone who kidnapped  _ Tony Fucking Stark  _ should at least invest in some quality restraints). He scanned his surroundings; he was in a blank, nondescript room. All five of his teammates were there, in various stages of wakefulness. It had to be magic keeping them under, because Steve was still snoring peacefully, and his serum would’ve burned through any sort of sedative faster than Tony’s squishy mortal systems. There was the outline of a door on the wall, but no hinges or handles, only a tiny grate near the bottom. If he had to guess, he would say that it was only maneuverable from the outside. There were no cameras or any sort of tech in the room (besides what was embedded in Tony’s body, but those were last resorts only. He was kind of attached to his arc reactor).

Having finished his scan, Tony clapped loudly, which woke the other Avengers. Natasha was silent, her eyes roving the room, and she came to the same conclusions as Tony; they had to sit and wait to see what their captors wanted, because they had no leverage from where they were. Clint immediately checked himself for his hidden weapons but came up fruitless. Bruce just gulped, looking a little green around the gills, which Steve and Bucky exchanged a glance and started kicking at the door.

“I see you’re all awake,” the voice of the Harvester floated through the room, but Tony couldn’t identify the source.  _ Fucking magic. _

“I see you’re still a dick,” Tony shot back, ignoring Steve’s disapproving glare.

“ _ Don’t taunt her! _ ” he hissed.

Tony wanted to laugh. He had been kidnapped significantly more often than the good captain, he had it down to a science. His taunting was part of the method. Instead of saying this, he rolled his eyes very maturely and ignored Steve.

 

Steve didn’t ignore him. “You’re going to endanger the whole team with your ego, Stark,” he muttered angrily.

 

Tony looked at him incredulously. “How many times have  _ you  _ been kidnapped, again? Once? Twice? This is my forty-seventh kidnapping,  _ Rogers _ , I think I know what I’m doing.”

 

Even Natasha, hardened spy she was, blanched a little at that number. “Forty-seven?” Steve whispered. “Even since Iron Man?”

“What did you think I got up to every time I disappear for a couple days?” Tony asked, astounded that they hadn’t noticed.

 

“We thought you were just on a bender,” Clint said hoarsely.

 

“I’ve come back with broken bones and  _ explicitly stated  _ that I was kidnapped. Did none of you notice? Brucie Bear, you don’t count, you’re basically my doctor.” Tony said, fondly looking at Bruce, who looked more than a little exasperated and angry at the Avengers. “Whatever, it doesn’t matter. Just trust me when I say I know what I’m doing, okay?” He tried to keep the edge of irritation out of his voice. From the slightly hurt look on Steve’s face, he did not succeed. 

 

“Now that  _ that  _ lovely piece of team bonding is hashed out, the fun can begin! Who should we start with? Let’s see…” the voice said out of nowhere, an edge of malicious glee to it.

“Me, obviously,” Tony said cockily, ignoring the wide-eyed looks from his teammates. “I’m the only fun one here!”

There was a dark chuckle. “I think not. I mean to inspire  _ fear  _ in you, and what scares you more than failing your team when they need you? I think I’ll start with… the good Doctor Banner. And don’t worry, your  _ friend  _ will not be making an appearance.”

Tony moved in front of Bruce protectively. “Or, alternatively, you could not do that. Just a thought.” All of the lights went out.

“Doctor Banner, your fears are  _ delicious!”  _ The Harvester said joyfully. “If a little boring. I’ll admit, the dark? Not the most creative, but I see the appeal. This should keep me fed.” The voice silenced.

The only noise was someone’s harsh breathing. Tony quickly identified it as Bruce’s and moved to comfort the other scientist.

“Brucie Bear,” he started. “Remember your theoretical hadron physics project that you were doing in the lab with me yesterday? I think I know how we can make it better.” Tony devolved into a discussion of completely incorrect science, hoping to get Bruce to correct him.

Lo and behold, it worked. “None of what you just said made any sense, Tony. Have you been sleeping? I thought you knew nuclear physics,” Bruce said shakily.

“Damn, I thought I had it that time. Will you explain it to me?” Tony said, sensing his distraction was working. He felt rather than saw the other Avengers at his back, choosing to stay silent. It felt good that they trusted him to talk down the (arguably) most volatile member of their little team.

From what little that his eyes had adjusted, Tony could see Bruce’s fond smile chase away some of his fear. “Yeah,” he said softly. “So…”

Twenty minutes later, the lights flicked back on. All of the Avengers gave a start when they noticed things the dark had been hiding from them. Bruce’s hands were bloody, for one, from clenching his fists so hard that his nails broke the skin of his palms. Tony was tense, eyes focused solely on Bruce but fingers tapping silently against his side in an odd rhythm.

“Stark, you ruined my meal!” The witch cried.

“Damn,” Clint muttered. “SHIELD really was serious about the whole  _ eat your fear  _ thing. That’s all kinds of freaky.”

“We’ll only continue to be unappetizing,” Tony said sweetly. “So, you might want to let us go.”

Everyone could hear the animosity in her voice as the witch said, “I’ll just have to try again.”

Without warning, without a chance for Tony to volunteer himself again, the room filled with soft strains of piano music and rhythmic footfalls, like those of dancers. Tony saw Natasha stiffen almost imperceptibly while the rest of the team looked around to see whose turn it was to be scared.

“You got me!” Tony cried, drawing attention away from Natasha. He knew her, and he knew that she needed to feel like she wasn’t under scrutiny. He made eye contact with Clint and communicated wordlessly who he needed to comfort (not that he needed the confirmation, but Clint was pleased to see someone else who could see through Nat’s masks). “I’m terrified of ballet! Oh, the horror!” Tony caught Natasha’s eyes and she flashed him a grateful smile as she curled up into Clint.

“Steve, Bucky, Bruce, protect me!” he swooned dramatically. Tony could feel the atmosphere in the room lightening just a little bit and smirked to himself.

_ Dumbass demon witch thinks she can beat  _ my team _?  _ He thought.  _ Not today, creep. _

Tony figured that he’d annoy the witch into turning off the music, and he was right. The two tests had led him to several conclusions; one, it needed to be deep, intense fear to feed the Harvester. That’s why she picked on phobias, he figured, rather than just pushing the general fear caused by a kidnapping. Two, the witch was a massive idiot. In placing them all together, she’d made a huge mistake. Tony wasn’t about to correct that though. He still didn’t have any idea how to get out, however, and it was making him a little antsy.

Slowly, almost unnoticeably, the Harvester turned down the temperature of the room to below freezing. Tony was…  _ uncomfortable  _ with the cold after the caves in Afghanistan, but he didn’t think that this particular torture was for him. One glance at their resident Capsicle proved him correct.

Steve was pale, eyes darting to and fro and hands twitching. He had curled up into a ball, trying to stay warm. Tony glanced over at Bucky and gestured with his chin. Bucky wordlessly sat next to Steve, close enough that they could share body heat, but far enough away that Steve wouldn’t feel crowded. Bucky, Tony knew, was the only person who Steve felt that he could be vulnerable with. With the rest of the team, he always had his Captain persona dialed to 100. Next, Tony stared at Nat, letting her see what Steve needed.

Nat started to play up her shivering. “It’s really cold,” she said pitifully. That shook something loose in Steve, who jumped into mother-hen mode. He pulled her in against his chest, warming her (and subsequently, himself) up. Tony knew that Steve needed to feel needed, and Nat was the best at the whole  _ playing vulnerable  _ schtick (though, he’d never say that to her face. She’d kill him painfully, and he valued his life).

Minutes passed in silence, but the temperature slowly raised back to normal. The group stopped shivering and color returned to Steve’s face. Tony was hit with another realization; the Harvester couldn’t handle positive emotions. Otherwise, there’d be no reason to turn the heat back on, if not to return to the general atmosphere of misery and anticipation. The group’s protective instincts must’ve given her indigestion, or something, because as soon as comfort came into play, she backed off.

Tony took a deep breath. He’d been playing up his fear a little bit to make himself look like a more attractive target to try to get a reprieve for the team, but the anticipation of the torture was killing him a little. He had a laundry list of phobias, none of them that he particularly wanted the team to know about.

It was selfish of him, but he  _ really  _ did not want to share with the class.

Unfortunately, if not him, Bucky and Clint were the only other victims. Bucky in particular Tony was worried about; 70 years of torture gives a guy some issues, and Tony didn’t know how Bucky would deal with said issues in their hostile environment. They didn’t exactly have punching bags, unless you counted squishy humans (which Tony didn’t).

Because the universe hated him, the witch chose that moment to pipe harsh Russian through the room. Bucky looked like a caged animal. Tony thought about a conversation that they had had in the Tower a couple nights ago, after both had come to the common room hiding from their nightmares.

_ Bucky had a mug of tea curled between his long fingers. He looked so lost, and Tony’s shriveled heart broke a little more for him. _

_ “If you want to talk about it…” Tony prompted, not expecting anything, just being there. _

_ Bucky took a breath. “They ruined Russian for me,” he said. Tony wasn’t thrown off by the non-sequitur. He just waited for Bucky to continue. “They took this beautiful language and they twisted it and I hate it, I hate that sometimes I can only think in Russian, but I can hear is  _ them _ …” he trailed off. _

_ Tony considered for a moment. “Nat speaks Russian,” he said. “She can help you associate it with something more positive, if you wanted?” _

_ Bucky shook his head. “Natalia’s Russian is harsh. She… I can’t explain it. But I don’t think it would work.” _

_ Tony gulped, feeling like he was about to throw himself off a cliff. “I, um,” he cleared his throat. “I also speak Russian, if it would help.” _

_ Bucky looked so hopeful, Tony didn’t think that he could deny that man anything at that moment. “Please?” he asked softly. _

_ “ _ _ моя ... ну, я думаю, она была как моя мать, ее имя было. она учила меня русским, когда я был ребенком. Это всегда звучало так красиво, я практически попросил ее научить меня. Она поет мне, в основном колыбельные. Я все еще помню их,” Tony rambled, watching as Bucky’s face relaxed.  _ **(Russian: My... well, I guess she was like my mother, her name was Ana. She taught me Russian when I was a kid. It always sounded so beautiful, I practically begged her to teach me. She'd sing to me, mostly lullabies. I still remember them.)**

After that conversation, it had become routine; Tony would speak in soft Russian when he and Bucky were alone and Bucky would look at Tony in that open way that he wouldn't look at anyone else. Bucky’s happy face made Tony _ feel  _ things, but that was a separate problem. Loathe as he was to spill the beans on their secret routine, it was the only thing he could think to do that would help.

Tony started singing quietly in Russian, arranging himself so Bucky was laying on his chest and could feel and imitate his breaths. He sang right into Bucky’s ear, drowning out the sounds of handlers past. Tony could feel the confused stares from the rest of the team, but he ignored them, focusing on Bucky.  

 

“Breathe with me, _дорогой_ , c’mon, that's it,” he whispered to Bucky ( **Russian: darling** ). “They’ll never hurt you again.”

 

Slowly, Bucky’s shaking subsided, leaving him an exhausted pile on Tony’s lap. Tony let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. If the witch had gotten Bucky to go full Winter Soldier, the team would’ve been massively fucked. Everyone but Clint and himself was still recovering from their brush with terror. Tony was amazing, but he wasn’t a miracle worker. He wouldn’t have been able to take on the Winter Soldier, especially without his suit.

 

The more Tony thought about that, the less the sense the whole situation made. Something was off, but Tony couldn’t put his finger on it. Why hadn’t SHIELD come for them yet? 

 

Call him paranoid, but Tony didn’t trust the spy organization as far as he could throw a helicarrier (without the suit). Still, he didn’t think they’d be sadistic enough to leave them trapped here with their worst fears, unless… 

 

Unless they had organized it in the first place.

 

Tony’s mind was racing. It was the only thing that made sense, real sense, because nothing else that happened that day did. First, they were sent to take on a powerful magic user without magical backup. That in itself was worrying, compounded with the fact that Fury didn’t give them the order...

 

Tony scooted over to Steve. “HYDRA isn’t dead,” he whispered. “They’re still in SHIELD.”

 

Steve sucked in a breath. “How do you know?” he asked.

 

“Why isn’t SHIELD here yet? Why didn’t our orders come from Fury? Why were we sent in without magical backup? Someone’s trying to get rid of the Avengers,” Tony said grimly. “You can’t freak out about this yet, though. I’m telling you in case something… in case something happens to me and I don’t make it out of here.”

 

Steve blanched. “Tony, don’t talk like that. You’re getting out of here.”

 

“Steve,” Tony shook his head. “How long until she stops playing mind games and starts the torture? I’m pretty fragile, what with the arc reactor and all, and it’s not a stretch to say I’d die first.”

 

“We’re getting out of here,” Steve said. “All of us.”

 

Tony just smiled sadly.

 

_ \--------------- _

 

They were all resting, as much as they could with how on edge they were, when Clint shot up, back ramrod straight.

 

_ “Get out of my head!” _ he hissed. 

 

“Clint?” Natasha asked, hesitant.

 

_ “GET OUT!” _ Clint was tearing at his hair now. The other Avengers scrambled to stand and run to Clint’s side, where he shook them off with cries of terror. Tony stopped and thought for a moment.

 

“Clint, buddy, please don’t punch me,” Tony said, striding over. He deftly plucked the hearing aids out of Clint’s ears, smashing them on the ground.

 

Clint drew in a shuddering breath and relaxed minutely. “Thanks, Stark,” he said.

 

“What the hell just happened?” Bucky asked.

 

Tony gestured to the remains of the hearing aids and signed loosely as he spoke. “I figured since we couldn’t hear what Hawkeye over here was hearing, that it had to be something localized to him. I hate magic, and besides, it didn’t make sense, with the protection spell, so I worked with the tech solution. She must’ve hacked the aids to play something on a different frequency.”

 

“He was in my head again,” Clint muttered morosely.

 

“He’ll never be able to touch you again, Clint,” Tony swore. “Remember? We went to Doctor Asshole and he gave you that neat little charm?”

 

“He was less of an asshole than you, Stark,” Clint joked, voice wobbly still. 

 

“Lies and slander, Barton.”

 

Even with the playful banter, Tony felt his heart rate spike. He knew it was his turn next, and  _ god,  _ he wasn’t ready. The team didn’t need to see how weak he was.

 

Unfortunately, he had no real solution. The only thing he could think of was blowing up the door, and even that wasn't a guarantee. He owed it to his team to try though. Tony took a mental inventory; he had wires sewn into his flight suit, just in case, chips in his forearms, and of course, the arc reactor.

 

He could make a bomb, but it would probably kill him.

 

He got up and started pacing, projecting the image of nervousness. He took two laps around the small room before “tripping” onto Steve, letting the other man catch him.

“Trust me, okay?” he said pleadingly. Steve nodded, eyes wide with questions, but Tony pushed off him and resumed his pacing. He went to Bucky next, collapsing next to him as if for comfort. “Move everyone away from the door, tell them I need space. You’ll know when,” he whispered. Tony let himself be weak for a minute, resting on Bucky. His head was racing; his plan was downright suicidal if he thought about it too much. Solution: he didn’t think. He let himself depend on someone else, for as long as it took to sink in that if he didn’t do this right, all of his teammates would die in here, and it would be his fault.

So much for not thinking.

 

Tony pushed off of Bucky and leaned against the door. He discreetly started scratching at his arms, trying to get to the implants that were just under the skin. With a barely audible grunt and more blood than anticipated, he got them out.

 

The implants were a failsafe from his last kidnapping. When connected to the arc reactor, they would create a pretty big explosion. They were, of course, directional, because blowing yourself up was never fun (as Tony could personally attest to).

“And of course, I saved the best for last,” the Harvester’s voice sounded saccharine sweet as it filled the room. 

 

“I really am the best, aren’t I?” Tony snarked back on autopilot. His mind was busy telling him which wires to twist and pull to get maximum explosive power while keeping the team a safe distance from the blast.

 

“You just have so many fears to choose from!” the witch shrieked with glee. “I think I’ll keep you, my little snack.”

 

“Creepy much?” Tony’s shaking fingers connected the last wires right as the voices started to play.

 

“Weak, pathetic little shit!” came Howard’s voice.

 

“Golden goose,” said Obie.

 

Harsh Farsi interspersed more insults from Tony’s father figures. Bucky, following the plan (although it looked like he would rather pull his own fingernails), started herding the other Avengers away from Tony.

 

“Stop pretending to be a hero,” Steve said during their first meeting.

 

“Iron Man, yes, Tony Stark, not recommended,” Natasha’s voice echoed through the room.

 

One by one, Tony’s fears of inadequacy came to life in the forms of remembered words from his teammates. Tony didn’t spare them a glance; he needed to get the jury-rigged reactor going before he fell into a panic attack.

 

Hands trembling, Tony clipped the last wires to the openings on the arc reactor before feeding the two chips through the vent on the door. All the while, the voices went on, with the addition of Yinsen’s  _ don’t waste your life _ , Steve’s  _ you’re not the guy who’d lay down on the wire _ , even Rhodey’s  _ you don’t deserve to wear the suit _ . 

 

Tony shut his eyes.

 

The bomb went off.

 

\---

 

Tony woke to white hot pain. On his personal scale, it was below the arc reactor surgery (but then again, what wasn’t?) but above palladium poisoning. He could handle it, probably, no need for a hospital, just copious amounts of alcohol and painkillers. 

 

But no one ever listened to his health decisions (and why should they? It wasn’t like it was  _ his own body _ or anything. The one time he brought that up with Pepper, after a hospital trip caused by a minor lab explosion, she leveled him with her most unimpressed stare and just said, “Palladium.”), so he knew he was in a hospital before he was even fully conscious. 

 

“Wha’ happened?” Tony slurred, hoping there was someone nearby. Normally, he woke up alone, with Pepper and Rhodey having actual jobs and the Avengers… busy somewhere, but he figured that the chances of someone waiting to chew him out when he woke up were high.

 

Lo and behold, he was right.

 

“How are you feeling, Tony?” came Steve’s voice from somewhere to his left. Tony dragged his eyes open and tried to focus on the blond super soldier. 

 

“Fine, Cap,” Tony croaked. “Just fine. How’s everyone else? They made it out, right?” A sudden wave of panic hit Tony. He heard the heart monitor spike as he ran through his math, checking the numbers. The explosion couldn’t have hurt them, the numbers don’t lie ( _ but the numbers don’t account for human behavior _ , his mind whispered traitorously), they had to be fine, he made sure-

 

“We’re all fine, котенок,” came Bucky’s soothing voice, cutting off Tony’s rambling train of thought. “Once you blew up the door, we managed to fight our way out. JARVIS detected the energy spike and deployed backup suits, which helped out. We got out with minor injuries- cuts and bruises. You, however, did not. Don’t pretend,” he said, anticipating Tony’s protest. “You look like hell. You’re a goddamn idiot, you know that?”

 

Clint took over. “Not that we aren’t immensely grateful,” he said gently. “But you’re possibly the dumbest genius I’ve ever met.”

 

“Hammer!” Tony cried in protest. “He calls himself a genius, its bad PR for the rest of us, really.”

 

“You shorted out your reactor, Tony,” said Natasha sternly. He could hear the underlying concern, though, which made him feel terrible. 

 

“ _ Technically _ , I didn’t short it out. That would be impossible. I just… redirected the power and potentially corrupted some of the internal wiring to the point where it would work as a bomb rather than a magnet,” Tony winced. “That didn’t make it sound better, did it?”

 

“You’re lucky JARVIS detected the energy signal and brought you a new reactor, Tony,” said Bruce grimly. “You would’ve died without it.”

 

Tony waved a hand. “Water under the bridge. It was the only way to get us out of there, and it worked.”

 

“You dying isn’t  _ water under the bridge _ , Tony,” Bucky growled. “We need to have a serious talk about priorities.”

 

“I have priorities,” Tony pointed out. “You guys.”

 

Steve made a sad noise, like a kicked puppy. “Tony…”

 

“If it helps, Cap, I ran the numbers and figured I had an 83.2% chance of surviving the blast, which is pretty high for me,” Tony said casually. 

 

“That helps not at all,” Natasha said tightly. “You didn't tell any of us your plan. We could’ve helped, Tony. We’re your team.”

 

Tony shook his head. “Odds were low you’d let me do it,” he said with a wry smile. “And it was the only way out, I checked.”

 

“Can we have the room, please?” Bucky asked tightly. The other Avengers vacated quickly, leaving Tony and Bucky alone.

 

“Tony.”

 

“Bucky.”

 

“You can’t keep doing this,” Bucky said brokenly. “You’re gonna get yourself killed, and I… Я тоже не могу потерять тебя, Антошка, я просто не могу..” ( **Russian: I can’t lose you, too, Antoshka, I just can’t** )

 

“Bucky,” Tony tried for a joking tone. “I’m like a cockroach. I’m practically unkillable.”

 

“ _ Stop testing that _ ,” Bucky hissed. 

 

“I’m sorry for scaring you,” Tony said soberly. “But it was the only option we had. And I’m not sorry for saving our collective asses. Besides, I’m-”

 

Bucky held up a hand. “If you end that sentence with some self-deprecating bullshit, I’m going to let Winter out, and he’s stubborn. He will follow you around and just hiss  _ нет  _ in your ear every time you try to say something like that ( **Russian: no** ). It’ll be terrible for PR. Pepper will yell at you.”

 

Tony cracked a smile. “Pepper is scarier than Winter, no question.”

 

“Just, Tony…” Bucky sighed. “Try to be more careful? We could’ve figured something else out.”

 

“Really, Bucky, it’s fine. I’m fine. We all got out.”

 

“But you almost didn’t!” Bucky shouted. “Damnit, Tony, you were _dying_! I had to watch the fella I love have a heart attack because he blew his pacemaker up!” 

 

Tony’s eyes widened. “Um, love?” he squeaked. “That’s not possible.”

 

Bucky blushed, realizing how much he had let slip. “Yes, love,” he said gruffly. “I get that you don’t feel the same-”

 

“Hold your horses, there, Buckaroo,” Tony said. “I never said that. I just… I’m not exactly lovable, you know.” Tony looked defeated. He stared down at his hands, waiting for the inevitable  _ I was just joking _ . 

 

“Whoever told you that is getting a visit from the Winter Soldier,” Bucky growled. “You’re the most lovable person I can think of, Antoshka. You open yourself up to so much hurt so that everyone else doesn’t have to. I’ve seen you at press conferences, taking the blame for everyone else but refusing to acknowledge what you did right. I’ve seen you run yourself ragged for the other members of the team. Fuck, Tony, you opened your home up to  _ me _ , for god’s sake! And today, with the witch… You kept us from falling apart, Tony. No one else would’ve been able to do that. With all of that, is it so hard to believe that I am hopelessly, irrevocably in love with you?”

 

Instead of answering, Tony surged forward, capturing Bucky’s lips in a kiss. It wasn’t long, as Tony broke away with a hiss of pain.

 

“Tore a stitch,” Tony explained. “So worth it, though. For what it’s worth, Bucky, I love you too. I’m no good at the mushy emotional monologues, so let’s skip that and say I did. I’ll make it up to you when I’m out of this hospital bed…”

 

“When you’re recovered,” Bucky said sternly, but with a wink. “Now, get some rest. You’ll get better faster that way.” Bucky left the room, probably to get a nurse.

 

The last thing Tony heard before succumbing to sleep was Clint saying, “You do know those rooms aren’t soundproof, right?”

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> whatd you think?
> 
> suggestions & prompts welcome!
> 
> comments and kudos make me happy honestly


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